I've been in this relationship that you can call a waste of time/shitty. Reason being is because I am never happy with my life with him. I've given up so much for him that he doesnt see the real Lauren Nicole. All he ever sees is negative things. He looks at me or calls me and thinks/says hella negative shiz to me. For almost 2 years, I've gone through the roughest relationship any female would go through. From fights that turn into bruises and cuts to names a female should NEVER be called. The first time a fight broke out like that, I couldn't believe my virgin ears that this person I say "iloveyou" to is saying all these things that breaks a girl down. I thought it was just a phase for him, but it got worse as our days together prolonged. One time, he even got mad at me coz I got a call from a guy that I go to school with and he ended up breaking his hand b'coz he punched my dresser. Fool tried to let his anger out by breaking his hand, what a dummy. Anyways, things are hella rough for me because of school starting and my daddy being in the hospital and to top off the sundae I have the most jerk tool of tool academy as a boyfriend. He's a bigger jerk/asshole than Shawn of T.A. Geez, can you get any more worse than that? [and the guy had two girlfriends, but my tool is the biggest of all] 2 years, and I'm getting fed up from all the shiz hes put me through and is continuing to put me through. He says he's like this because he cant help being selfish when it comes to me. "I told you that I'm selfish when it comes to Lauren Nicole. I cant help but want you to myself." That means, 1) I cant have any friends besides him. 2) He gets mad at me whenever we're apart and at school. 3) He hates when he hears male names come out of my mouth [even if they are a gay friend that he's met] 4) He yells at me or gets angry with me when/if I go out to dinner/meetings/hang outs. 5) I get in trouble if theres other voices in the background when we're talking on the phone. and so on. Now, can you see what I've been going through. I've been living in hell and I've even put up with it. All the ILoveYous never felt real because after those words, something triggers his bi-polar disorder and I'm crying and he doesnt want me to stop coz he keeps making me cry.
My dad's just gone through a BMT and that's hard enough for me to go through, on top of that, school started which makes my life a little harder because I'm more concerned for my fa asmily at this point. My ILA sissuh has been going through some relationship things, so I'm kinda concerned for her too, and we're both supporting each other with our relationships, but my relationship is the worst out of the two, so advise is try to make him relize that youre forreal about him needing to change. I really wanna leave and try to make him miss me and regret treating me like shiz for the past 2 years so I have to leave. All the things hes given me such as my heart shaped three diamond studded gold band ring that I got for my birthday. All the good memories will always be held close to my heart because I feel like hes is the one person I've ever dated that I've felt so many feelings for. Idk how I'm going to be able to deal with it tho..Im keeping my sissuhs close to me coz theyre my cruch for a lifetime.
<3LaurenNicole.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment